notes to self

Funny – not the haha kind, but the other – these showed up almost next to each other on my FB feed – the lattice of coincidence … Not sure I particularly needed to hear it that day, but always good reminders. Where DOES it come from? This being so hard on myself? Yes, it makes sense to want to be the best me I can be, to have expectations for myself, to hold myself accountable. And yes, sometimes the things I want to do or be are a stretch – what’s the point of always shooting for things you *know* are achievable? So things don’t always work out how I’d like. That’s this thing called life. So where does the negative talk come from? Why do I sometimes say things to myself that I would be horrified to hear come out of my mouth directed at someone else? How is it easier to give someone else the benefit of the doubt that they are doing the best that they can? That somehow I don’t deserve that grace and gentleness, that I should, for some reason, be held to a higher standard. By now you’d think I’d have figured out that things aren’t perfect, things happen, you make the best of it, learn from it and carry on. Yeah, that thing called life. Catching the voice now, realizing it’s there. It’s a start. Work in progress.

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