conversation with a co-worker and the topic of expectation came up which reminded me of the study or story or anecdote or whatever the heck it was about people receiving $50 cash. If you’re expecting $5 (or nothing), the $50 seems pretty great. If you’re expecting $500, not so much. Exact same $50, but gets very different response.
Fortune cookie say: expectation bring disappointment.
so, as I sometimes (somewhat jokingly) say, one of the secrets to life: Have low expectations. Much more likely they will be met. Or even exceeded! Although if you take that too literally it would be pretty dreary and depressing. And I’m certainly not advocating expecting BAD things to happen. Maybe it’s more not expecting exact certain things to happen. Not having an attachment to a particular outcome. Especially when other people are involved.
expectations are resentments under construction
and that question was on the list what did you expect? in the past tense which is after all how it usually gets asked and perhaps that’s where the disappointment comes from in that the expectations were unvoiced but somehow we thought the other person would JUST KNOW, right? since that’s how it’s supposed to go in a relationship ha right yeah there’s that.
so maybe the better question to ask in life – what do you expect? get it out there. not that I am here to meet your needs. not you to meet mine.
and anyway, how to ask these without seeming accusatory, or inquisitory – are we wrong to expect certain things? which is what a certain tone might imply – but in a truly questioning curiosity I want to know sort of way. help me understand what is going on for you right now.
shuffle the cards, take the top 52. the element of chance. deal me a good hand. never draw to an inside straight. what did you expect? the sample sheets are open on the top of the cases, Broadway 24 pt catches my eye, I do a cursory flip thought the rest of the pages and decide I’ll just peruse the drawers, and there, almost right away, Broadway 24 pt. Alright already. so it is
and set the line length and no spaces then a bit of futzing when I decide I want to have a question mark but not have it all by itself on a line so there I go. and mix up ink from the bits I’ve been saving from previous times, some bluey and the other purply so it should all work together. then do look at both sides before I print, not totally up to how it’s dealt and sometimes it lands just right and dang! when I pick it up and look at it. that’s good. whatdidyouexpect?