the one question brings up another – do we ever really get over anything?
Prompting a thoughtful response from a friend – With distance (time) comes emotional distance from the hurt; we can look back on it with more perspective. Does it still hurt? Yes. Is there regret, anger, disbelief? Yes. But there is also acknowledgement of who we were then, why we did what we did. An older chapter in a book still being written, but which cannot be edited.
As a writer, the last sentence struck me as a good way to look at it. And the reminder that we do the best we can at any one time. Looking back we may want to change things, but that’s with today’s knowledge.
All these things, the bad and the good, are what make us who we are though, and here’s judi with some parallel musings on Self which maybe she also saw the articles below.
One, an article that maybe we don’t *just* get over things. The blurb: Adversity in childhood can create long-lasting scars, damaging our cells and our DNA, and making us sick as adults. Yikes.
Meditation, mindfulness, neurofeedback, cognitive therapy, EMDR (eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing) therapy: these promising new avenues to healing can be part of any patient’s recovery plan, if only healthcare practitioners would begin to treat the whole patient – past, present and future, without making distinctions between physical and mental health – and encourage patients to explore all the treatment options available to them. The more we learn about the toxic impact of early stress, the better equipped we are to counter its effects, and help to uncover new strategies and modalities to come back to who it is we really are, and who it was we might have been had we not encountered childhood adversity in the first place.
So maybe there’s hope. Perhaps not getting over, but making some kind of peace. Ah, Who we might have been? There’s another interesting question.
Apparently it’s not only the things that happen to us that can get stuck. The blurb on another article: Your ancestors’ lousy childhoods or excellent adventures might change your personality, bequeathing anxiety or resilience by altering the epigenetic expressions of genes in the brain.
Like grandmother’s vintage dress, you could wear it or have it altered.
The possibility to integrate or re-frame experience. The past is written, but perhaps how we read it is not fixed.
and, again with a question
And what if we could create a pill potent enough to wipe clean the epigenetic slate of all that history wrote? If such a pill could free the genes within your brain of the epigenetic detritus left by all the wars, the rapes, the abandonments and cheated childhoods of your ancestors, would you take it?